


Without You I'm Nothing

by AliceQU97



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Angst, Ballet Dancer Louis, Comforting Harry, Depression, Famous Harry, M/M, My english is poor, Poor Louis, Rock Star Harry, So much angst, in the 90s, inspired by palcebo, its really poor, placebo music
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-10-14
Updated: 2017-11-08
Packaged: 2019-01-17 07:20:51
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,205
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12360501
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AliceQU97/pseuds/AliceQU97
Summary: The alcoholic had a pair of blue eyes, he glanced towards Harry under the dim light. He had a blushing scarlet in his cheeks due to alcohol, his eyes glowed with madness and lust.Or the one where Louis is a ballet dancer, Harry and the boys are in one direction. The love and depression of the 90s. And everything is inspired by Placebo.





	1. 1

**Author's Note:**

> First of all, I'm not the original author, the author is my friend called LiangZhou. I'm not the original author, the author is my friend called LiangZhou. I'm not the original author, the author is my friend called LiangZhou! I'm not an English speaker, there's going to be so many grammar mistakes. If you find anything worths changing, don't hesitate to let me know! I translated this from Chinese to English.  
> I really like the plot because I just love a ballet dancer Louis, it's kind of my kink now XD  
> Uploaded this pruly because of fun, there won't be any readers anyway...XDD  
> Finally, if there's any Spanish speaker who loves larry fics, pls recommend me some Spanish larry fics thanks a bunch!   
> si hay algún hispanohablante, por favor,me recomiende alguna obra exelente de larry! Gracias muchísimo

_  
_

**Without You I'm Nothing**

**  
**

_Never thought you'd make me perspire，_

_Never thought I'd do you the same，_

_Never thought I'd fill with desire，_

_Never thought I'd feel so ashamed，_

Me _and the dragon can chase all the pain away，_

_So before I end my day， remember，_

_My sweet prince， you are the one，_

_My sweet prince， you are the one，_

_Never thought I'd have to retire，_

_Never thought I'd have to abstain，_

_Never thought all this could back fire，_

_Close up the hole in my vein，_

_Me and my valuable friend，_

_can fix all the pain away，_

_So before I end my day， remember，_

_My sweet prince， you are the one，_

_My sweet prince， you are the one_

_Never thought I'd get any higher，_

_Never thought you'd fuck with my brain，_

_Never thought all this could expire，_

_Never thought you'd go break the chain，_

Me _and you baby still flush all the pain away，_

_So before I end my day，_

_My sweet prince， you are the one，_

_My sweet prince， you are the one_

* * *

He couldn’t sing anymore, he hated every note, every word, even the fans understage disgusted him. Because he knew Louis wasn’t there. He just couldn’t get the blood-red and stinging words on the bathroom wall out of his mind. Those were the last notes left by Louis.  

_He would never know how much I love him, how much I miss him, how much I cherish him, how much he means to me._

Harry ripped the mike off the boom and kicked it away. The boom directly fell off stage along with the wire.

“I can’t.” He stumbled backstage, he heard Liam calling him, heard the fans went crazy, but he didn’t care. One more second on stage would make him vomit. His chest clenched with pain.

It’s been a week since Louis had left without notice. Three days ago, Harry plucked up his courage and went to The Royal Ballet where Louis worked as a ballet dancer, only to find that he had resigned and nowhere to be seen. Harry fully understood what dancing means to Louis yet he quit anyway, without any hesitation.

Louis wiped away every single trace he had left in Harry’s life within a day and disappeared completely. 

“Harry? Are you alright?” Liam put a hand on his shoulder carefully, trying to comfort his friend.

In the backstage, Harry shook all over under the darkness, he couldn’t control his body and breathed with difficulty. “I need to find Louis, I must find him.”

“But he left.” 

  


\----------------------  


September,23rd 1997

As a new band, although One Direction wasn’t very popular, their unique music style and the charm of four hotties still made them look like shining stars. Niall dragged the boys to a bar meaning to celebrate their successful show that night. If you’re not drinking, then you’re not playing, he claimed.

The Irish and the booze made a perfect match, however Harry made up his mind not to indulge in a drinking game with him. To cherish your life, to stay away from Irish drinkers. He liked alcohol, but he didn’t like being controlled by it. Harry enjoyed being sober, he sat by himself at the corner of the counter, with his Brandy on the rocks.

A dainty man prop against the counter with his hands, surrounded by a jeering crowd. 

“Finish these two, and I’ll cover all of your bills from now on.” The bartender said to the man. 

On the counter were two whole pints of neat Vodka, without water or ice. No one could finish the double Vodka, not even the Irish. Maybe some Russians could drink up one pint. He would either burn his throat or become real pissed. Harry squeezed towards them as a bystander, he wondered how would the man cope with this.

“Get ready to pay my bills then,” he pointed his finger on the table, “Give me two slices of lemon, just like the ones you speared on those cocktail glasses. Two.”

He took a slice and squeezed the juice in his right nostril straightaway as if he was dripping the eyedrop.

Harry was so shocked that he barely held his drink, this man must be killing himself... He watched the man’s face crumpled with pain as he poured the Vodka into his throat swiftly and violently. Then a whole pint of Vodka disappeared magically. He squeezed the juice of the second slice into his left nostril in the same way, the next thing that happened was two empty glasses on the counter. No one would believe a minute ago they were full of Vodka, but the unbelievable happened right in front of everyone’s eyes. 

The alcoholic had a pair of blue eyes, he glanced towards Harry under the dim light. He had a blushing scarlet in his cheeks due to alcohol, his eyes glowed with madness and lust.

  


  


  


  



	2. 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> poor English sry

September,23rd 1997  


 

The blue eyes only stayed on him for about a second. He was only meeting Harry’s eyes while glancing the surroundings.

  


Harry held his hand to his chest and took a huge slug of Brandy. The quick glare was too much to handle, he felt like a marked prey. Those blue eyes preyed on him with no intention.  

  


“I’ve finished.” His eyes were bloodshot, his voice was hoarse as if he had struggled through a horrible battle. The crowd broke into loud applause and there were people shouting “Louis is freaking awesome” and summat.  

  


Now Harry knew his name, Louis. He was peeking at him, he noticed that Louis was strikingly beautiful. His features were delicate. Although Louis was not a sissy, Harry found him androgynously attractive. There was a madness from the narrow of his bones. All of these made Harry hypnotized. He might had took a hundred sneaky glances at this man. Just as he turned his head for the one hundred and first time, a pair of hands covered his eyes from the front.

  


“You looked at me for at least a hundred times in the last one hour.”

  


“No, I didn’t.”

  


His voice was not as hoarse as then, it’s even a little bright and sharp. He was not from London. Louis must be from the south of Youkshire, Harry could tell from his twangy accent.

  


“Fine, let’s say you didn’t, but now I’m looking at you.”Louis withdrew his hands from Harry’s eyes, his fingertip traced his strong jaw line and fell on his board shoulders, finally drew a small circle on his arm. He put the finger into Harry’s drink, then licked off the alcohol with the tip of his tongue. “Not many people came to the bar only to order plain water these days, kid.”

  


“Not everyone can finish the double Vodka,” he was sure that Louis was flirting with him, he could tell this man was gay. They can always indentify their own kind accurately. “You are astounding.”

  


Louis sat beside him, chin in hand, he turned his head and looked at Harry. Half of his face was lit by the light above them, the other half was covered in shadow. He really is beautiful, Harry checked for the second time.

  


“There’s a trick,” he whispered, “When you’re wrapped in great pain you’ll forget the rest.”

  


“But you don’t have to torture yourself like that.”

  


“I might be a little drunk now.” He let his head sank to the counter as he raised his eyebrows and glanced at Harry. “Are you available tonight?”

  


Harry felt a sensation under his stomach which made him shrink, then rising up, up, up… He didn’t even waste time to answer the obvious question.

  


“Your place?”

  


“My place.”

  


They pressed against each other and slipped out the back door. Harry barely had time to make a gesture to Liam indicating he didn’t have to end up wanking tonight. Liam was the only one sober.

  


“Your friend?”

  


“Yeah,” he replied, “I’m Harry.”

  


Louis stopped and turned his head back, he stared at him as if he had said something strange. Harry gazed at him nervously. He finally spoke after quite a while, “Although I consider it unnecessary, I’m Louis, just to be polite.”

  


He understood what “unnecessary” meant, he would meet all sorts of people in his life but not everyone’s name is worthy of remembering. They almost went up to flames in the backseat of taxi, they got off the car, into the flat and had sex under Louis’s perfect control. He didn’t waste a single moment.  

  


The sex was wild, rough and hot. Harry came for three times under the violent attack of Louis, if not more. He couldn’t think straight. Every inch of his skin was burning and boiling, his brain was a mess. He felt sticky and wet, it might be the come might be the sweat. Louis filled him up completely.

The convulsion and quivering after the sex attack made him felt like heaven. 

  


“Cigarette?” Louis’s voice was once again hoarse. He sounded both drunken and sober, he must be the sexist man in UK. Harry nodded, so Louis drew out two cigarettes from the drawer. They lit up their smoke, lied down on their sides and gazed at each other. They didn’t pull the curtains, moonlight shined down on their bed and sprinkled on Louis’s body. The black shadows cut out by the window frame dropped on him too, cigarette ends glowed with red light in the dark. This kind of feeling was not as consuming as before, but it radiated another kind of beauty. Louis who was blowing smoke rings was the hottest thing he had ever seen. Everyone smoked at that age. They huffed their smoke on each other’s faces, they breathed with nicotine.    

  


No one said a thing, but Louis smiled. Harry realized under the moonlight, his blue pupils shined with a spark of metal and emerald, like the glowing sea.

  


“Good night,” he said, “Sweet dreams.” He was tender, like every lover to his boyfriend.

  


He stubbed out the cigarette butt ,ditched it under the bed and patted Harry’s cheek. The aroma belonged to Louis was all over him. The aroma of cigarette smoke, alcohol and black tea. It might also contained a smell of dry sunlight. The aroma broke Harry’s skin into his vein.  

 

  


When Harry woke up Louis was still in sleep, the time was early, he had plenty of time to admire the one laid beside him. He only dared look at him like a pervert or a stalker. Louis was skinny, a lot more skinner than average people. But the line of his muscles was smooth and elegant. Every proportion of his body was perfect. His arse was round and tense, the curve from vertebra to his thigh was fascinating. Harry’s gaze flickered down, he noticed something strange. There was a huge bruise on Louis’s thigh, normal people wouldn’t leave such a severe bruise on their thighs and Harry was sure that wasn’t because of the sex last night. The bruise was too big and severe… All of Louis’s toes were tied in bandage, his insteps and arches were extremely protruding as if they were tensed all the time. Harry couldn’t figure out why, so he acted on his on, intending to borrow his bathroom and kitchen. He had to take a shower and prepare their breakfast.

  


The moment when the waffles were ready, Louis walked in the kitchen. He was only dressed in underwear and a long shirt without buttoning up. He inhaled dramatically, “Wow, house-husband.” He raised his eyebrow, looking vigorous.

  


“Good morning, Louis.”

  


“Morning, Harry.” He pulled the fresh from oven waffles to his face, “Smells good!”

  


“Thank you.” He handed one piece to Louis’s mouth.

  


“Are you always this nice to people?” although Louis was still smiling, Harry could feel the wall of distance suddenly built between them. Louis took the waffle with his hand, took a step back and leaned on the counter.

  


Harry shook his head, he was just trying to be nice. The breakfast was rather awkward for no one was speaking. Harry peeped at Louis’s gestures, but he only received a sigh with sadness.  

  


He hoped Louis could say something, but then he heard, “I’m going to work, thank you for the breakfast.”

  


Disappointing.

  


“So…see you around?” they stood under the flat, Harry asked tentatively.

  


“Maybe?”

  


The time was early, Harry didn’t worry about being recognized by people, the band was not that popular. Just like Louis was not aware of having slept with a rock singer at all. Although Harry hoped that he knew. 

  


“I'm Harry Styles.”

  


Louis looked at him with a complicated and elusive expression, “ Louis Tomlinson.” He slowly stressed each syllable. “Just to be polite.”

  


That was the first and last time they would ever meet. Harry was almost sure that they wouldn’t meet again or huff the smoke on each other’s faces. But still, he felt fine. The air of that morning was fresh and it didn’t rain, that was rare and precious in the gloomy London. Harry watched as Louis walked away and disappeared at the end of the street. His eyes kept on that direction for a long time before he turned away.

 


End file.
